First off I guess I should say HELLO! It sure has been awhile since I’ve posted! (almost a whole year) Where does the time go anymore?! I swear the older I get the faster it goes. I’m sure some of you know why I’ve been absent and for those of you who don’t .. a brief recap: planning a wedding, getting married, my dad getting sick and passing away and then taking some time off for myself and now beginning a new job! Whew! Needless to say 2015 was one hell of a year for my husband and I but we made it through!
With that being said, since the holidays just recently ended, Sean and I have spent a lot of time with close family and friends over the last couple weeks. And of course since we’re still in the newlywed phase of marriage we get asked a lot of questions! “How is married life treating ya?” “Feel any different being married now?” “Since you two have been together for so long it probably doesn’t feel much different, does it?”
Usually Sean and I just answer the question and nod so we can get to the food before everyone else does. HA. We have a big family to feed! Anyhow these questions got me thinking recently..How is married life different from being in a relationship/dating/living together? First off let me say, you don’t know how many socks a man has til you live with ’em! You find them EVERYWHERE… under the bed, in the couch cushions, in your car .. I literally mean everywhere. But besides finding socks everywhere I can definitely say that being married is such a rewarding, special feeling for me.
First off I’m going to include the definition of marriage vs the defintion of a relationship so everyone can get a little reminder of what marriage vs relationship actually means:
the legally or formally recognized union of a man and a woman (or, in some jurisdictions, two people of the same sex) as partners in a relationship
the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected:
After thinking about this a lot lately, I honestly believe that marriage is so much different then being in a relationship/dating/living together. And to name a few reasons why I find it so different.. here they are:
- the most obvious one THE NAME
Most of you reading this know my maiden name but for those of you who don’t it was Reigel (pronounced regal) which is a name I always loved. I loved being a Reigel where I grew up..besides our immediate family, there wasn’t anyone else with our last name in the town. So that was definitely a perk.. going to school and not having to deal with ten people in my class with the last name Smith (for example) was kinda nice. After getting married I took my husbands last name, even though it’ll never be as good as Reigel 😉 (love ya babe!) it’s still a nice name to take over, especially marrying into the Livergood (pronounced just like it’s spelled, liver good) family is such an honor. I couldn’t be more proud to have it as my new last name. Honestly, I do understand why people wouldn’t want to take their husbands last name, but in my case, I’m very happy to have the same last name as my husband. Especially after we decide to have children, I love the thought have of having the same last name as my husband and children. It makes us feel as one, as a family!
We’re all adults here. And those who aren’t.. I’m sorry your’re reading this. Anyways let me just say, the sex is ten times better now that I’m married. I don’t care what anyone says. Sean and I seem to be more open minded now that we’re married. Don’t go getting all worked up, I’m not talking like 50 Shades of Grey adventurous but we agree that we should try new things or when we don’t like something we feel we can talk about easier now. Also there isn’t any awkwardness between us. I’m sure when you’re dating if something happened that embarrassed you in front of your man that it would be difficult to see them again or talk about it, but when you’re married you just both laugh about it together and then it becomes a funny memory that you talk about later. IT’S OK TO LAUGH. Plus I find the hubs way sexier than he ever was. I look at him completely different than I did when he was my boyfriend, I feel so much more in love with him everyday.
I believe people perceive us differently now that we’re married. I look at it as though they take us more seriously, which I hate to say but it’s true. I feel strongly about this one, especially towards our families. Now that I have a husband I believe my family respects me on a whole new level. They look at us as our OWN family and respect our opinions and boundaries.
Sean and I have been together a long time. When we got married we had been together for ten years before taking the commitment to say ‘I Do’. I’ve always felt committed to him but being committed to him in the sense of having a partner for life is so much more rewarding. Let me start off by saying that I have never lost a close relative before. So loosing my Dad was my first, which was so difficult for me. I’ve always been close with my dad. My parents divorced at a young age and I lived with my dad til almost high school. He always took me to all my dance competitions, paid for my dance classes, ran me around town with friends, took us on vacations. He was the best dad I could’ve ever asked for, so when he passed it was VERY difficult for me. As for Sean, he’s never had anyone pass that’s been a close family member so he doesn’t know what it feels like. I remember shortly after my dad passing away, I was grieving and crying so hard that I thought my world was crashing down. Sean just looked at me and said “If I could take away all your pain, I would.” and in that moment I remember the feeling of our raw marriage and commitment to one another. I couldn’t help but feel thankful to have him as my husband. This commitment with him has been the best decision I’ve ever made. Knowing that this foundation we’ve created is a solid one makes me feel that we can grow within ourselves also. We both feel that we’re each others biggest fan. If he decides to pursue a new career or I pick up a new hobby, (which he would say is every other week) no matter what the case may be, he always supports me and vice versa.
Prior to being married, Sean and I each had a small group of close friends. Mine however had been spread all over due to school and careers so I didn’t get to see them as much as I would like to but we always kept in touch. Which I’m so thankful for! And as for Sean, most of his friends are still pretty close to where we live so we see them more often. Before the big ‘I Do’ we each had what we thought was our innermost circle that included parents, siblings and friends. Now being married Sean and I think of our innermost circle as EACH OTHER. I am his and he is mine which is such a special feeling.
Marriage has definitely changed Sean and I for the best. We are new to the married life but so far, we enjoy it! We’re both still learning the ropes of this crazy thing called life but I feel lucky as ever to do life with this amazing fella by my side!